Skyline Hospital

When we moved last fall, we were told that unfortunately we would need a new phone number. Historically, my husband is the one who makes such move-related arrangements, but I had more time than he did to take care of it this go around. So I called the phone company.

As in the past, I was sure to request an "easy number"- usually, my husband has told them that his wife is dyslexic and that's why it needs to be as simple as possible. (Sidebar: when the local newspaper calls to ask us to subscribe he tells them that we don't need to get the paper because his wife is illiterate. I wonder what else he tells people about his wife to get out of buying other things, "I can't join the art museum- my wife is visually impaired"...)Anyhow, I was able to get an "easy number" without casting aspersions on my husband.

But in case we needed more proof that in truth nothing is easy, the number turns out to have one small problem: it is one number off from a hospital one state away. Skyline Hospital, to be exact (if you're curious about this formidable establishment, here's the link: http://www.skylinehospital.com/)

For the first several weeks, I assumed that we just had a really odd series of what I thought were wrong numbers- people would call and ask for someone, and I would give my standard "I think you have the wrong number" response. Until one day, someone said, "Well, isn't this Skyline Hospital?" at which point I did a web search and discovered the source of the problem. Still, I thought that it would probably pass, that someone had misprinted the number on some hospital-related information sheet. But as the months wore on, it became obvious that this was going to be an ongoing issue: people just don't pay close enough attention to what they're dialing, and we consistently get 4-5 calls per week.

Sometimes it is disturbing, as when someone left a message on our answering machine asking about the transport of a particular patient. Not only was it upsetting to think that there was someone either waiting to be transported ("I THOUGHT they said today was the day for my lifesaving heart surgery...") OR waiting to receive a patient ("Hmmm...Mr. X was supposed to be here hours ago...") but it was troubling to think that whoever was responsible for the transport didn't think anything was odd about a hospital's answering service saying something like "We're really glad you called but we're not here" with a child screaming in the background.

Of course, there are the upsides, too. As my brother suggested, the next time someone calls and asks about a patient, I can deadpan "Didn't you hear? He's dead." Or I thought,too, it would be amusing to tell the next person who calls for a particular physician, "You want Dr. T? I know I wouldn't see Dr. T., but OK."

The most recent upside I have found is to use such contacts with random strangers to tell them to "Vote Kerry." The person who called today got the following interaction:
"Hello?"
"Um. Hi. Is this um, Skyline?"
"No, you need area code *** not ***"
"Oh. Sorry."
"That's OK. Vote Kerry."
To which all I got in response was a little grumble (although I can imagine that it was a grunt of agreement, or at least an appreciative smirk).

Just my little way to make lemonade out of lemons.